Endure Everything

Endure Everything

More thoughts on Max

"Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory."

                                                                                                --2 Timothy 2:10

 

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

                                                                                                --2 Timothy 2:15

 

"Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.  And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.  Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." 

                                                                                                --2 Timothy 2:23-26

Endure everything
What have I to endure?  The apostle Paul endured imprisonment, beatings, stoning, starvation, and desertion.  I have only to endure the mundaneness of my daily life and the immature ranting and sullen rebellion of a teenage son.

As it concerns my relationship and interaction with Max, what does enduring look like?  And what, then, does "not enduring" look like? 

For the sake of the elect

Do I know that Max is among the elect?  Do I know that he isn't?  No.  I can know neither with certainty.  Therefore I must assume, as I must with all people, that he is.  He has made a profession of faith, which he is seemingly abandoning at the present time, but whether or not that profession was genuine, only God knows.  Even if it was not genuine, only God knows what the future holds for Max.  Assuming he is not among the elect is giving myself an excuse to not endure because Max is not worth the enduring.  In most situations with Max, enduring is as simple as biting my tongue and reminding myself that the cost of giving in is Max's soul, and Max's soul, along with the quality of his life here on earth, is very much worth the sacrifice. 

What exactly am I sacrificing?  Is it the need to prove I am right?  Do I crave the credit for changing the course of his life?  Or is it as simple as wanting to have the last word, right or wrong, wise or foolish?  Each justification is a mere pittance compared to what is at stake.         

Correctly handle the word of truth

I have been given the Word of Truth, and I do desire to know and understand it.  As Isaiah 55:8 reveals, God's thoughts are not my thoughts, and His ways are not my ways.  To correctly handle it, I need to learn and be faithful to the Word, never twisting it to further my own agenda, and I need to conduct myself gently and in love when presenting it.  In responding to Max out of my humanness, my impatience, my own flawed thinking, and with my own quick tongue, I will not be handling the Word of Truth correctly.

The Lord's servant must not quarrel

Oh, how often I find myself quarreling!  I start quarrels, seize the bait and get dragged into quarrels, lengthen quarrels, prolong quarrels, wring quarrels' necks until every last bitter word has spewed and sputtered from within me.  But here God is saying, "The Lord's servant must not quarrel."  Why not?  Because I must be kind, able to teach, not resentful.  And that's exactly what has been the problem.  I have not been able to teach Max because I am so resentful.  What is the cost of holding onto resentment?  Max is the cost, as is any hope I have of him escaping the trap of the evil one. 

I am the teacher.  I am supposedly the one with my head on straight, with my eyes on the Lord, pointed in the right direction.  I am the one with the truth and the command of God to teach it to my children.  I cannot force the truth into Max's soul or, like meat through a sausage grinder, it is mutilated beyond recognition.  I must gently instruct him as he opposes me and hope that God will grant him the repentance that brings freedom. 

Endure everything

So, again, what am I enduring?  I may be very wrong to view Max's struggle as something I, personally, have to endure.  For years I have been expecting this release of the boiling inner turmoil he has tried so hard to placate with fantasy, fabrication, and avoidance.  Now that it is happening, what has it got to do with me?    

What exactly am I enduring?  In light of this new perspective, it is simply the moment when, inside me, the flesh and the spirit wrestle for control.  It is that intake of breath poised between conflict and kindness, damnation and redemption.  If Stephen could lift his eyes to heaven with a cry of forgiveness for his tormentors as his body was broken by the onslaught of their stones, then surely I can endure for the one moment it takes for the spirit to swell beyond the flesh so I can respond to my son with gentleness.

All that is left, in the words of Paul to Timothy, is to hope is that God will grant him repentance leading him to a knowledge of the truth, and that he will come to his senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken him captive to do his will. 

Oh, Lord, for that, surely I must endure.  Amen.

 

ErinRMS

2/27/2013