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Wondering.  Do you ever think about us?

Lately I've dreamed about you every night. Not bad dreams, angry dreams--I've had those before. Not little boy dreams, days gone by dreams--I've had those, too. These dreams are new. In these dreams you are who you are now, and I am me. But we are talking. We see each other. We are a part of each other's days as an adult child and a parent.  We hold love between us, and all is well. New, but well. 

It's not that I'm having visions.  Goodness me, not I.  Besides, if they're visions, I don't understand them enough--haven't studied them enough--to know if God is trying to show me how he wants things to be or what I'm supposed to do. Maybe he is just smoothing out my jagged edges, softening me toward you, so that when you come, I will be ready. 

But do you ever dream about me?  Do you ever even think of us?

The hardest thing about being left is wondering if what existed before meant as much to you as it did to me.  How could it not?  How could it not color your every waking moment?  Or, at the very least, your dreams?

Love doesn't leave.

Family is forever. 

This is what we uphold. This is why we adopt.  These have been our truths. 

But now?  Is truth still true when half of it is hanging like a broken limb?

Yes. 

It is still true because of the everlasting arms of a Father who waits without weariness.  It is still true because of a Savior Friend who, with a reassuring arm around my shoulder, levels his eyes at mine and says, "I'll go get him. Just wait and be ready."  

But--

If you drop your end of it, does love unravel?  Or can I really stand here, stand still, trusting that God will hold your loose ends, faithful to complete the good work that he began?  Can I?

Yes.

Even if we are the furthest thing from your mind. 

Even if all I get is a practice run in my dreams. 

Even if I have to wait.

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."  

--Deuteronomy 33:27

 ". . .being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  

--Philippians 1:6

ErinRMS 8-19-14